


Just Friends (With Benefits)

by courtsofdreamsandstars



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8131600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtsofdreamsandstars/pseuds/courtsofdreamsandstars
Summary: Feyre and Rhysand are good friends, however one night it becomes something more...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my Tumblr (same username), becomes Mature in later chapters.

It all started one drunken New Year’s Eve…

Feyre and Mor were hosting a party for all their friends, involving plenty of drinking, dancing to trashy music and out of key karaoke singing (Amren’s rendition of Dancing Queen would go down in history as one of the most bizarre things anyone in attendance had ever seen). Things had wound to a close at about 3AM, guests slowly trickling home, finding taxi’s and lifts with designated drivers. Mor and Azriel had disappeared hours ago back to his apartment, until it was only Feyre and Rhysand, Azriel’s tall, rather intimidating but definitely attractive roommate (who also happened to be Mor’s cousin), left cleaning up the mess. They’d hung out quite a few times before seeing as Feyre was roommates with Rhys’s cousin, who also happened to be dating his roommate.  
“You really don’t need to stay, I can clean most of this in the morning” Feyre said, stuffing a few more solo cups in a garbage bag, looking up to see Rhys stretching up to pull confetti from atop a high shelf, his grey shirt lifting up to reveal a stretch of toned, tanned back.  
“It’s really no trouble… actually I was thinking, could I stay here tonight? With Azriel and Mor disappearing back to ours earlier… I have a feeling I’d be interrupting” he said with a chuckle and Feyre giggled and nodded in agreement  
“Probably a good idea, you’re welcome to stay here, us single roommates have to stick together”

They continued to clean up the mess from the party for a while longer, laughing and joking easily, however there was that tension present between them that always seemed to be there when they were alone. Feyre glanced up at Rhysand to find him watching her, and he didn’t look away as she caught his eye.  
“You’re staring.” She said plainly, carrying on with her tidying but glancing back to him every now and then.  
“I am staring” he replied with a smirk  
“Any reason?”  
He chuckled and smirked at Feyre as he said “I was just thinking it’s not often I’m alone in an apartment for the night with a beautiful woman without it ending in the bedroom, that’s all…”  
Feyre scoffed, raising a defined eyebrow at him as she said ‘you seem pretty certain of your charm… and also pretty certain that this time will be different to your norm. Am I not up to your usual standard?”  
“The opposite actually, I was under the impression I didn’t live up to your standards, otherwise I thought you’d have dragged me to your bed months ago, I mean, it’s no secret I find you attractive…”  
Feyre tried not to let herself blush. She’d always found Rhysand very physically attractive, he was tall and broad and a perfect physical specimen, sharp cheekbones, a striking face and beautiful eyes, and she would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought of him like that. But knowing that he found her attractive too? Well that was news to her…  
“Are you trying to seduce me, Rhysand?” She asked, standing straighter now as she surveyed him  
“No expectations, I just think it’s a waste when two adults who obviously find each other attractive don’t make the most of a situation like this…”  
She chuckled again and walked over to stand in front of him, trying to read his expression as she said “what are you proposing? Some kind of ‘friends with benefits’ thing?” She laughed, mostly joking but part of her a little thrilled  
“I’m not a fan of the term itself but I guess that’s essentially what I’m proposing yes… why should our roommates get to have all the fun?”  
Feyre could barely breathe. She’d been kidding, but she could tell by his voice and facial expression that he was deadly serious. She bit her lip and walked over to him, looking up from under her eyelashes.  
“You… you seriously want to do that? With me?”  
Rhys smiled genuinely and said “of course… any man would be a fool not to,” he shrugged and turned around to carry on cleaning but looked over his shoulder at her and said “the offers on the table, whatever you decide…”

It took about ten minutes of them cleaning in silence, Feyre finding her eyes constantly drawn back to Rhysand, running her gaze down his body, before she made her decision. She stopped what she was doing and just watched him for a few moments before she broke the silence and said “if we’re actually gonna do this we probably need some… ground rules?” Rhys looked over at her and his smirk hinted at the fact that he knew she wouldn’t refuse his offer.  
“Oh of course… what we you thinking? I assume neither of us have ever done anything like this before so it’s completely up to us…”  
It all felt very surreal having this discussion, as if it was some business arrangement. Once they’d laid everything out before them, they stood in silence for a few moments, just surveying the other, Rhysand waiting for her to make the first move. Feyre took a deep breath before lifting up on her tip toes and pressing her lips against his. He smiles against her, his arms sliding around her waist as he deepened the kiss. He let her set the pace, and as soon as he felt any hesitation vanish from her, he swept her up into his arms with a chuckle at the squeal that came from Feyre’s lips, and carried her straight to her bedroom.

* * *

They both agreed after they’d finished (for the 3rd time that night) that it was the best decision either of them had ever made. They also decided, to erase complications, that they’d keep it just between the two of them, no one else needed to know…

* * *

**Six months later**

Feyre pushed open the unlocked apartment door, looking around the empty living room as she called out “Hello? Az…? Rhys? You home?”  
She heard a low voice call out “In here!” and she smirked as she crossed the room and pushed open one of the adjoining bedroom doors. Rhysand was sat on the end on his plush double bed, already shirtless with a smirk plastered on his face.  
“Azriel’s at work till late, so we have a good few hours” he said, his eyes running down the length of Feyre’s body. He was never subtle about checking her out, but seeing as they’d been sleeping together in secret for the past 6 months, she was surprised none of their friend’s had noticed. She grinned back at him, pleased that things were going to plan today. She’d gotten so used to their routine, coordinating schedules to find times when Azriel or Mor would be out of the way, they had this sneaking around thing down to an art.

They had very few rules regarding their situation that had been established over the months, one being that it was purely physical between them, no strings attached, no feelings, just an arrangement that benefitted both parties. Neither of them had the time or patience at that point in their lives to bother with dating, they told themselves, but needs are needs, so this way they both managed to get the ‘stress relief’ they needed with none of the complications. The other rule they stuck to firmly was that there were no sleepovers. Even that first night Rhys had given her a light kiss goodnight and gone to sleep on the couch after they’d agreed that cuddling and sharing a bed was too personal and would no doubt cause problems. This meant they often met up in the middle of the day when Mor or Azriel were out working. They’d had a few near misses, but luckily they’d always managed to keep their little rendezvous secret. 

“Well, let me catch up then” Feyre said before lifting her shirt over her head and throwing it to the floor, walking forwards and straddling Rhys’s lap, connecting her lips to his, instantly feeling herself relax, all of the stresses of the week fading away as she focused purely on the two of them. Rhys’s hands slid around her waist, one moving up her back to tangle in her hair as he pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss. Her hands slid across his broad shoulders, fingers digging into the taut muscles there as she pulled away and murmured “You’re so tense… tough week?”  
He moved his lips down to pressed under her ear, a spot he visited frequently because he knew it made her squirm. He hummed in reply and breathed against her skin.  
“It’s been a particularly stressful one yeah… i’ve been needing this all week” he admitted, one hand moving down to grip her hip firmly as he lay them back on the bed, bringing Feyre down with him. She smirked down at him underneath her and made sure to press down on him as she leaned over.  
“Well i’m happy to help.” She whisper, loving the look in his eyes at he gazed at her. She kissed him once, deeply and intense, grazing her teeth across his bottom lip before dragging her lips across his jaw. She stopped to bite teasingly at his earlobe, smirking with satisfaction as she heard, and felt, his groan rumble under her.  
“You said you’re going to help me, not make me more tense..” he said darkling, gripping her hip firmly in his broad hands.   
She chuckled and said “sorry, but you’re so easy to tease it’s hard to resist!”

In reply he flipped them over, pinning her underneath him as he slowly moved his lips down over her neck and collarbone, kissing down her chest as he reached behind her and unclasped her bra, throwing it to one side to join her shirt. His lips instantly moved to capture her nipple, teasing her with his tongue until she was writhing and groaning under him. He smirked up at her and said “two can play the teasing game…” as he slowly, but deliberately ground his hips down against her. Feyre grinned down at him and raised one eyebrow and said “Do your worst, Rhysand”

* * *

A while later, when their breathing had returned to normal, Feyre smiled up at Rhys, feeling satisfied and relaxed as they always did afterwards. `  
“I’m just gonna get get a drink, you want anything?” She asked, climbing out of bed and pulling on her underwear and the first t-shirt she laid hands on, which just so happened to be Rhys’s. He shook his head, visibly exhausted as he laid on his bed, looking ready to drift off to sleep any minute. Feyre smiled to herself, thinking he looked so beautiful and peaceful like that. She shook her head to try and clear the thoughts  _Get it together Feyre, this is Rhysand, no feelings remember?_  She told herself.

Feyre went to the kitchen and grabbed herself a drink, checking the time and seeing it was already pretty late, Mor would be expecting her home soon from her ‘dance class’ (a convenient excuse she used frequently) and she had no idea when Azriel would be back. She went back into Rhys’s bedroom and found him fast asleep, curled up on his side. She smiled, sitting down on the bed next to him, feeling tired herself too and telling herself she’d just rest for a few moments before she headed off home. She placed her glass on the bedside table and nestled down into the soft sheets, murmuring to herself “Just five minutes…”

* * *

Feyre woke to soft sunlight filtering in through the bedroom window, warming the side of her face that was exposed to it, the other cheek pressed against something warm and firm. She stretched slightly, loosening her muscles that had tensed up overnight.   
“Morning…” she heard a gruff, male voice murmur and she smiled contently to herself and whispered “Morning…”  
_Morning. Wait. Morning?!!!! What the hell?_

She sat bolt upright suddenly, startling the still half asleep Rhysand under her as she flew to her feet, grabbing her phone from the pocket of her jeans that had been hastily discarded the night before. She saw it was 9 in the morning… and she had 47 missed calls from Morrigan and twice as many texts ranging from polite to concerned to livid.  
“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I am so dead. So so dead” she muttered to herself quietly, scrolling through the texts and feeling all the blood drain from her face.  
“Feyre. Feyre remember to breathe…” Rhys said from his seat on the bed, looking at her standing in the hazy morning light, wearing only her underwear and one of his t-shirts and part of him couldn’t help but notice how beautiful a sight it was.  
“Mor has been freaking out all night and threatening to call the police because I didn’t come home… what the hell do we do?!”  
“I guess we just tell her… It’s impressive we’ve kept it a secret for this long, and I mean, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s just sex…”

Feyre ran a hand through her hair, sighing loudly before pulling on her jeans, grabbing her phone and keys and shooting Rhys an apologetic look as she hurriedly said ‘I have to go, I’m sorry… thank you for last night… erm I’ll call you I guess?” Rhys just nodded and watched as she collected her stuff and pushed open his bedroom door, stepping out into the hallway… and walked straight into Azriel.


	2. Chapter 2

“Feyre?!” Azriel said, sounding shocked and confused as to why his girlfriend’s roommate was sneaking out of Rhysand’s bedroom at 9AM… and wearing one of his shirts. 

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_  Feyre repeated over and over in her head, and all she could think to do was smile sheepishly at Azriel, calling over her shoulder as she dashed from the apartment “Have fun explaining, Rhys!”   
Just as she was shutting the door she heard Azriel’s voice sounding extremely confused as he said “What the hell is going on?!”

* * *

Feyre dashed along the hallway, practically flying down the stairs she was moving so fast as she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Mor’s number. Bracing herself for fury she started walking down the street back towards her apartment.

“ _FEYRE ARCHERON WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE PLAYING AT?! I’VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT WORRYING THAT YOU’D BEEN MURDERED OR KIDNAPPED OR EATEN BY SHARKS, YOU BETTER HAVE A DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION!_ ” Mor practically screamed down the phone, so loud that Feyre had to pull it away from her ear to save her hearing.  
“Yes yes alright  _Mother_ ,” Feyre said, although she did feel bad for worrying her friend so much, “I’m completely fine I promise, I’m on my way home now… Look let’s go out and grab some coffee or something and i’ll explain everything yeah?” She said with a sigh, not looking forward to this conversation at all.  
“Fine, but you’re buying!” Mor said with a slight edge to her voice, but Feyre knew she was a sucker for gossip and that her cryptic answer had peeked her interested.

Before Feyre could even get her key into the lock, Mor had thrown the door open, her blonde hair piled on top of her head, a slouchy sweater and jeans somehow looking like high fashion on her, and an expression that would probably have terrified even the toughest individual on her face. Feyre tried to breeze in past her, wanting nothing more than to change, clean her teeth and run a brush through her hair, but Mor was already pushing her back through the door into the corridor.  
“Oh no, we’re going for that coffee now, and you’re going to explain to me exactly where you’ve been… and who’s shirt you’re wearing for that fact!” Mor said, a wicked gleam in her eyes. Feyre knew she wasn’t getting off easily for this.

* * *

“What the hell is going on?!” Azriel asked, looking back and forth between the front door Feyre had just left through and Rhys who was stood in his bedroom door, wearing nothing except a hastily pulled on pair of boxers. He ran a hand through his dark hair, looking like this was the last place on earth he wanted to be right now.  
“I’m gonna make some coffee, want some?” Rhys asked, picking up a t-shirt from his floor and pulling it on as he walked to the kitchen.   
Az gave him an incredulous look, but then said “Okay, yeah fine we’ll have coffee, but then you’re gonna explain why Feyre was sneaking out this morning, in your shirt, when I know for a fact she didn’t spend the night at her apartment. Mor’s been going out of her mind with worry.”  
Rhys cringed hearing that, it sinking in just how bad things were probably gonna be for Feyre trying to explain to Mor what had happened… What had been happening for a while now.

Rhys focused on the coffee in front of him as he sat down on the couch, Azriel sitting opposite him in a chair.   
“So…?” He prompted, looking at his roommate, waiting for an explanation. Rhys shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.  
“Feyre and I have been sleeping together for the past 6 months.” He said, realising there was no point tip-toeing around the facts.  
“ _6 months?!_ ” Az said, placing his mug down and running a hand through his hair, “Well shit… So what, you’ve been dating in secret?”  
“When did I mention dating?” Rhys said, taking a sip of his coffee with a blank expression on his face.  
“Well you wouldn’t just be fooling around surely?” Azriel looked at Rhys’s face, trying to gauge his reaction to get an answer, but all he got was Rhys raising an eyebrow. “You’ve just been fooling around for 6 months?! Rhys… is that wise? I mean we both know that’s not gonna end well, given your, you know…”  
“Conflicting feelings?” Rhys finished for him, meeting his gaze for the first time. “Look I know it’s complicated Az… and I know it’s stupid. But it’s Feyre… You know how I feel about her. I’ll take any of her that I can get and you know that. Friend, Lover, Boyfriend, hell even Husband… I’m completely hers. Can you really blame me for taking any opportunity I can get?”  
Azriel sighed, moving to sit next to his friend on the couch, giving him a sympathetic look as he said “I know Rhys… Just be careful okay? I don’t want you getting crushed by this.”  
Rhys gave him a weak smile and said “I’ll be alright, i’m a big boy Az” bumping his shoulder against his friend.  
“And hey, maybe she has feelings for you too, you never know! Maybe she’s having this exact conversation with Mor right now!” Azriel said optimistically.  
Rhys chuckled, loving his friend for trying to reassure him but he said “I highly doubt it…”

* * *

“ _You’re doing WHAT?_!” Mor practically screamed at Feyre from across the table at the coffee shop around the corner from their apartment. Feyre looked around embarrassed, knowing people were staring at them  
“It’s not a big deal Mor seriously, it’s just… A bit of fun I guess? There’s no feelings involved, it’s just… well you know it’s easy? And I mean can you blame me? Its Rhysand, I’d be stupid not to jump at the opportunity, any girl would!”  
“Ew Feyre, he’s my cousin remember?! And I just… I don’t get it. If there’s no feelings, which I highly doubt because come on, how can there not be feelings, surely it’s just a bit boring?”  
“There are no feelings Mor, from either end, I can promise you that. I have no romantic feelings towards Rhysand, and I know for a fact he has no feelings for me. It’s a pretty good arrangement if i’m honest, we both get something we need without all the complications!”  
Mor looked at her as if she’d grown a third head and said “Oh yeah, if it’s so not a big deal, why have you kept it a secret? For six months?!”  
“We kept it a secret so I wouldn’t have to deal with you constantly giving me that look, as if any minute i’m gonna break down crying about how much I love him and it’s all been a lie and a cover up. I don’t need it Mor. It’s been good for me, I’ve felt happier these past months than I ever have before, so I don’t see why I should stop.”  
Mor sighed, frowning slightly as she said “You have seemed happier, I can’t lie… I just never thought it would be because you and my cousin had turned into friends with benefits… I’m usually pretty perceptive and even I didn’t see that one coming at all…”  
Feyre chuckled to herself and said “You think you didn’t see it coming? I still can’t believe it’s happening sometimes if i’m honest. I know it’s a little strange Mor, especially seeing as he’s your cousin, but I do think it’s been really good, for the both of us, especially after Tamlin…” Mor winced at the mention of Feyre’s asshole ex-boyfriend, “and I really hope it’s not gonna get all awkward now that you know… oh and Azriel knows too.”  
“How long has Az known?” Mor asked, looking as if she was ready to tear into her boyfriend for keeping this from her.  
“He found out about half an hour before you did… I ran into him when I was sneaking out this morning. So i’m sure Rhys is having a really fun conversation right now too!”  
Just as Feyre said that her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and read the message on the screen.

**Hey Feyre, i’m really sorry about all this, it’s my fault for falling asleep. Azriel’s fine with everything, and he’s promised he’ll keep it a secret if that’s what we want. I hope Mor’s not being too hard on you… I still have your shirt too, want me to bring it back over to you sometime today?          Rhys x**

**_Don’t worry about it Rhys, we both fell asleep so it’s not your fault. I guess at least now it’s out in the open we can stop sneaking around so much! No rush with the shirt, I have plenty you know? ;) Sorry for running off in yours, i’ll wash it and get it back to you soon. And Mor’s fine, trying to pretend she’s all motherly and doesn’t approve but I think she’s just glad im happy again after everything with Tam… Feyre x_ **

**Keep the shirt, it looks good on you ;) And Feyre… I’m glad you’re happy again. You deserve it after everything that prick did to you. I’ll see you again soon. Rhys x**

Feyre couldn’t help but smile at her phone as she quickly replied, agreeing to meet up with Rhys again that evening, they both needed to have a talk about how things were gonna progress from here. She looked up and found Mor giving her a look that said  _You’re so in denial_  and she scowled.  
“Mor. You’re giving me  _that_  look. I am not in love with Rhysand and I never will be.”   
Mor just rolled her eyes and said “Whatever you say Feyre, but whilst Rhys’s shirt does look good on you, denial doesn’t”  
Feyre sighed in exasperation and shook her head, quickly changing the subject, trying not to let Mor’s words take root in her head. She was not in love with Rhysand… Right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Here comes the smut!

Later that evening, Feyre was cooking dinner, Mor having gone out for the evening to see Azriel and Cassian. She’d just shut the oven door when she heard a knock coming from outside her apartment door. She smiled, walking over to open it, and found Rhysand standing in the hallway, looking his usual perfectly presented self. He was wearing dark jeans and a deep purple shirt that clung tightly to the toned planes of his chest. His hair was it’s usual perfect style and he had a big grin plastered on his face. He held out his hand to Feyre, presenting her with a bottle.  
“I thought we could probably do with having this discussion over some wine…” a winning smile on his face. Feyre smiled and stepped aside to let him in, taking the wine from him and heading into the kitchen.  
“I just finished making myself dinner if you’re hungry?” She called back to him and Rhys smiled to himself and called back “Sounds perfect!”

Feyre came back from the kitchen with two plates of food, placing them down on the table before she went to grab the bottle and two glasses. Rhys waited for her to return before sitting down at the table, opening the bottle and pouring them a glass of wine each. Feyre chuckled to herself as she sat down.  
“What’s so funny Feyre darling?” Rhys asked, eating the food Feyre had made for him.  
“Nothing, it’s just Mor refused to believe we could possibly do this without any feelings developing, which is nonsense, but if she saw us now eating dinner with a nice big bottle of red wine… well she’d probably feel like she was right!”  
Rhys chuckled too, hiding the little flash of disappointment he always felt whenever Feyre talked about there being no feelings.  
“I will admit, it is a little like a date… but we didn’t plan this, we just both happened to be hungry at the same time, and we do need our strength for other activities of course…” he winked at her and loved the grin that spread on her face.  
“Exactly! So… what’s the discussion we need to have then?”  
“Well, I just think there might need to be some rule changes now that this is less secret… I mean, we don’t have to coordinate around times we have convenient excuses, just free apartments. And I guess we could revoke the rule on sleeping the night, I think it’s not gonna cause any problems and it can be more convenient… if that’s alright with you of course?” Rhys said, taking a sip of wine and trying to judge her reaction.  
“It’s completely fine with me, it does make sense instead of having to get home late at night… maybe I’ll even get my own toothbrush at your place!”  
Rhys chuckled and said “Woah now Feyre, don’t you think that’s a little too far?” And winked at her. She rolled her eyes at him.  
“But seriously, I do think it will be even better for us now we can be a little more relaxed with it…” Rhysand said, and Feyre nodded in agreement.

They ate the rest of their dinner, swapping stories of Mor and Azriel’s reactions (Rhys obviously leaving out the details about his long lasting and undying love for Feyre…) until they were both just chatting happily, finishing off the bottle of wine before moving to the couch.  
Feyre placed her glass down on the coffee table and sat sideways to look at Rhys.  
“I still can’t believe we’re doing this sometimes…” she said, biting her lip as she ran her eyes down Rhys’s body. She’d seen him naked so many times now, she knew almost every inch of him and yet it still shocked her how beautiful he was.   
“It’s pretty surreal… still one of the best decisions I’ve ever made…” Rhys replied, smiling genuinely at her. Feyre smiled and leaned over and kissed him, softly at first but quickly becoming heated. She moved herself closer to him on the couch, and his hands moved instantly to her waist. His palms were warm through the thin material of her shirt and she leaned herself closer into him. He smiled against her mouth and grazed his teeth slowly over her bottom lip. Feyre let out a soft moan into his mouth and he groaned loudly, one arm moving under her knees to sweep her up, carrying her easily through the apartment to her bedroom.

Feyre moved her lips down to his neck, kissing and sucking and biting roughly, her hand threading through Rhys’s hair as he placed her down on her feet.  
“Feyre darling… you’re gonna leave a mark” he panted, his voice sounding breathless and strained.  
“That’s the point… we don’t need to hide so much now…” she mumbled as she carried on sucking roughly at the spot just below his jaw until she was content with the dark bruise there. Rhys turned and glanced in the floor length mirror on Feyre’s wall, taking in the sight of her mark on him.  
“Fuck that’s hot…” he muttered to himself before he turned around, gripping Feyre’s waist tightly as he lifted her up and pressed her up against the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist as his lips crashed down onto hers. He slid a hand from her waist down over her hip and along her thigh before gripping it tightly, leaving tingling fire in his wake. Feyre moved a hand back up into Rhys’s hair, tugging at it slightly, knowing it always drove him wild and smirking with satisfaction as he let out a low groan and ground his hips against her hard. Feyre couldn’t help but let out a breathless moan, feeling how much he wanted her already and moved her hands down to unbutton his shirt, wanting to see more of him. She got his shirt all the way undone, not even bothering to push it off his shoulders before she leaned forwards and connected her lips to the place where his neck met his shoulder. Rhys practically purred at the feeling of her lips on his heated skin, catching his lip between his teeth as he watched her.

He put her back down on her feet, using a finger to tilt her chin up to look at him. He grinned at her, taking in how dark her eyes looked in this light, a light flush spread across her cheeks. He pushed his shirt off his shoulders and reached down to the hem of her top, pulling it over her head in one swift motion. Before she knew what was happening he was down on his knees in front of her, broad hands holding her hips firmly as he leaned forward and gave one slow lick from the waistband of her jeans to her navel. Feyre’s head tipped back and hit the wall.  
“Fuck Rhys… you’re really gonna tease me like that?” She asked, eyes already slightly glazed over. His smirk only grew as his flicked open the button of her jeans, giving her a wicked look before he leaned in and pulled down the zipper with his teeth. Feyre couldn’t help but think it might have been the sexiest thing she’d ever witnessed.

He took his time lowering his jeans, pressing a tender kiss to her ankle as he helped her step out of them. He ran a hand up each of her legs, marvelling at the smooth skin in front of him and he pressed another soft kiss to the side of her left knee. Half way up her right thigh. The crease of her left thigh. A nip at her right hipbone. Feyre was already coming undone and he hadn’t even come close to where she wanted him.  
“Rhys…” she whispered, almost begging.  
“Yes darling?” He replied, the smirk on his lips apparent in his voice as he continued to press kisses everywhere except where she needed them most. In reply she just fixed him a look, the one that usually got her exactly what she wanted from him. He looked up at her when she didn’t reply and chuckled to himself.  
“Okay okay I get the hint…” he laughed, before dragging one finger along the skin above the waistband of her underwear. He bit his lip and then pressed a single, feather light kiss over her through the fabric. She let out a shuddering breath, the flush on her cheeks only building as he gently removed her underwear. In the 6 months they’d been doing this, she’d never had Rhysand on his knees before her. The sight alone was almost enough to make her knees too weak to support her weight. When he finally worshipped her with long, sensual caresses she almost fell apart instantly.

His hands held her hips firmly back against the wall, holding her up as if he could tell her legs were close to giving out as he swirled his tongue expertly. Feyre bit her lip to suppress a moan as she threaded her fingers through Rhys’s hair and held on for dear life. Rhys, finding her lack of noises unsatisfactory, found that bundle of nerves and focused all his attention there until his name and a string of curses were continuously pouring from Feyre’s mouth. His hands held onto her tighter as he drew her closer and closer to that release, fingers joining his tongue until she could barely see straight from the pure ecstasy of it all. Rhys knew her well enough now to know when she was nearly there without her having to say it, just from the change in pitch of her moans and whimpers. He never let up, working her all the way up to that high, and stroking her as she crashed over the edge, his name on her lips like a prayer. 

It took all her strength not to collapse right there, her legs barely supporting her weight as Rhys rose from his knees, an arm sliding around her waist as he pulled her close to him, lowering his lips to hers in a bruising, possessive kiss. She didn’t care that she could taste herself on his tongue, her hands wasting no time moving down to his belt buckle, unfastened it as he removed her bra, his jeans hitting the floor seconds later. Rhys cupped Feyre’s cheek and said ‘I know Mor would probably give me the look she gave you earlier for saying this… but you’re absolutely stunning. Breathtaking.”  
Feyre blushed deeply but then rolled her eyes and said “I mentioned having my own toothbrush at your apartment and suddenly you’re going all mushy on me,” trying to make light of things even though her heart was pounding hard, and not just because of the desire running through her.  
Rhys raised an eyebrow and said “me? Mushy? Well we can’t have you thinking that can we… anyway aren’t you the mushy one going all wobbly-knee’d at the sight of me kneeling before you?”  
Feyre reached between them and roughly palmed the solid bulge at the front of his boxers, earning a stifled whimper from him.  
“Rhysand…” she purred and then leaned in and whispered in his ear “ _Talk less._ ”

A rough growl rippled through him as he spun them around and walked Feyre backwards until she fell onto the bed. She propped herself up on her forearms as she looked at him, his hair messy from her hands, chest slightly flushed, her eyes drifting lower and lower…  
The sight of Rhys removing his underwear was so sensual she almost moaned, but all the breath left her body as she took in the size of him. After 6 months she still wasn’t used to the sheer impressiveness of Rhysand bared before her. She wanted to reach out and touch, to feel and taste but he was already crawling over her, bracing his hands on either side of her head before lowering himself down and claiming her lips. Her tongue was urgent against his, reaching the desperate, feverish stage where she wanted more right now. Without even pulling away from her lips he reached up and opened the draw of her bedside table, fumbling around until he found a condom. He was about to open it when Feyre grabbed it out of his hands, sitting up a little as she tore it open careful. He had to hold back a moan as she grasped him gently to roll it on, the touch only driving him to want more. He settled back against her, his kiss rough and insistent, keeping his claim on her lips until they were both panting and breathless. He pulled away and looked her straight in the eye as he softly said “are you ready darling?”

It was a gesture he always gave her. He knew the troubles she’d been through in the past, the near torture her ex boyfriend had put her through so he always,  _always_  waited until Feyre said yes. Every single time.  
“Yes… please Rhys, yes” she whimpered, her legs parting slightly further, willing him to make the move. He grinned and connected his lips to that spot under her jaw, his tongue flicking over her pulse point as he slowly filled her. Her eyes rolled back at the stretch of him, a soft moan escaping her lips as her hands gripped his shoulders firmly. Rhys’s own moan rumbled against her neck, his whole body trembling almost imperceivable as he stilled inside her, his forehead resting against her collarbone. He waited a few moments, just holding still and savouring the feeling before Feyre tilted her hips up slightly, signalling that it was okay for him to move.

He started slow and teasing, hardly moving at all as his hips rolled against her. Feyre kept whimpering, one hand moving to grasp the bed sheets beside her. As he picked up the pace, moving faster and deeper, Feyre moved to hook her legs around his hips, but Rhys reached down and grabbed one of her thighs, hitching her leg up as far as she could stretch and holding it there, the slight change in angle leading to Feyre letting out a shaking moan.  
“ _Fuck_  right there…” she groaned, and he kept working his hips, faster now so that he kept hitting that spot that made her release the most obscene sounds.

Feyre’s hand slid down his back, her nails dragging slightly as she went, leaving tiny red marks down him, barely standing out against his tattoos that seemed even darker in this light. Rhys’s mouth fell open with a silent moan as he nestled his forehead against her neck and muttered “fucking hell Feyre…”  
Quicker than she’d like, she felt heat beginning to coil inside her, rising up and up until she couldn’t ignore it any longer. She opened her mouth to warn him but before she could say anything he nodded and whispered “me too…”  
His hand reached down to find that bundle of nerves he’d ravished with his tongue earlier, and all it took was one swirl with the tip of his finger and Feyre was falling off the edge of the earth, her release shattering through her as she felt Rhys finish too, roaring her name so loud she wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbours complained.

Still quivering with the aftershocks, Feyre looked up at Rhys to find him grinning down at her. He leaned forward and kissed her softly as he pulled out, rolling to the side so his weight didn’t crush her.  
“Well fuck…” he chuckled, sounding pleased with himself as he drew Feyre into his chest, his arm around her tightly, all rules of no cuddling seemingly forgotten.  
“You can say that again,” she sighed, finding herself snuggling close against him, telling herself it was just what happened after sex like that, it’s just hormones making you seek closeness, nothing more.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both of their chests rising and falling fast as they tried to regain their breath. Eventually Rhys rose from the bed, walking quickly to the bathroom and coming back with a towel to clean them both up. Feyre grabbed a pair of her underwear from her draw and the shirt of Rhys’s she’d gone home in earlier and pulled them on, tossing him his boxers. He looked at her a little put out, thinking she’d changed her mind on their new rule about staying the night.  
“Don’t look so pouty I’m not making you leave, it’s just in case Mor comes crashing in tomorrow morning, I think she’d thank me for not having to see her cousin naked, as lovely a sight as it is” she chuckled and he laughed lightly to himself as he got changed. They climbed into bed after Feyre had flicked off the light, both sticking to their sides.

“Goodnight Rhys…” Feyre said softly into the darkness, his warmth radiating across the bed to her.  
“Goodnight Feyre darling” he purred back, and rolled over so his back was to her, hoping it would help him resist the urge to pull her close in the night.

When they awoke the next morning to Mor crashing into the room (just as Feyre had predicted) they were nestled together like lovers, cuddled as close as two people could get.


	4. Chapter 4

After their rude awakening of Mor storming in to ask Feyre why she was still in bed when it was almost midday, Feyre and Rhys were quick to get out of bed. 

They’d laughed off the fact that they’d woken up tangled together, Rhys casually attributing it to the fact that the apartment had been pretty cold overnight. Rhys had changed back into his jeans and shirt from the night before, Feyre pulling on a pair of leggings and a soft jumper as he looked down at his rumpled appearance.  
“One downside of this new sleepover rule is someone does have to do the walk of shame…” Feyre joked, reaching up to straighten the collar of his shirt where it had become uneven, her fingers grazing the side of his neck accidentally. Rhys laughed along with her even as his heart ached as it always did when he had to leave her.  
“Definitely worth it though,” he purred and winked at her, “although I wouldn’t be opposed to my own toothbrush that’s for sure, you’re onto something there Feyre darling.”

He left soon afterwards, saying hello to his cousin as he walked to the front door.  
“This will never not be totally gross I hope you know that?” Mor grimaced from the couch, a steaming cup of tea in her hands, “No one should have to watch their cousin do the walk of shame through their own apartment…”  
Feyre rolled her eyes at her roommate as she let Rhys out the front door, and he called “Goodbye Morrigan!” over his shoulder.

* * *

Things fell into a routine over the next month or so, embracing their new-found freedom. Pretty soon everyone knew about their little arrangement. Azriel let it slip to Cassian one evening after a few too many drinks, Rhysand enduring an uncharacteristically serious lecture from his lifelong friend, who also knew of his feelings for Feyre. Cassian then informed Feyre’s older sister, his Fiancé, Nesta who since then had formed a habit of glaring at Rhysand to the point where he avoided being in a room with her. Feyre had experienced an extremely unpleasant conversation with her sister, who in recent years had found her sisterly nature after not caring for Feyre at all during their troubled childhood. She now brought it upon herself to provide judgement and ‘sisterly advice’. This ‘advice’ consisted mostly of telling Feyre she was a fool and that it would never work, a guy like Rhysand would end up breaking her heart. When Feyre had informed her that her heart wasn’t in it enough to be broken, Nesta had just laughed, looking at her younger sister as if she was a naive child again.  
“You say that now, but what’s gonna happen when he finds someone else? A girl he wants more from than just a quick tumble? When he finds a girlfriend, and no longer needs you? You come back to me then and tell me you’re not jealous and heartbroken, and I’ll admit I was wrong… not that it will happen of course.” Nesta had scowled, and when Feyre had continued to protest she just shook her head and walked away, muttering something under her breath about all men being pigs and all women being oblivious.  
Feyre’s other sister Elain, however, had surprised them all by being the more supportive one of the arrangement, telling Feyre she was glad she was happy and asking questions about Rhysand often.  
No one, however, was more impressed with Feyre than Amren. Rhysand’s close, unusual friend had somehow found out, even though no one could recall telling her. She’d made many snide comments about how Feyre was a genius for accepting that the only useful part of a male was between his legs and had smirked at the disapproving looks from Cassian and Azriel.

As little as Feyre would like to admit it, their relationship had changed. They saw each other more frequently, sometimes three or four times a week, always staying the night. They woke every morning cuddled close together, no longer blushing and shuffling apart as soon as they noticed but staying like that, sometimes for hours in content silence. Rhys also had a growing collection of his shirts stashed in one of Feyre’s drawers, on a constant rotation as she had developed the habit of snatching up whichever one he’d been wearing that evening to wear to bed (and often wearing it home if she’d been staying at Rhys’s apartment). One evening Feyre had wandered into Rhys’s bathroom to find a brand new toothbrush still in its packaging attached to a note that simply read ‘ _Feyre Darling x_ ’. She’d smiled to herself, opening up the packaging and placing it in the glass on the side of the sink that contained Rhys’s own toothbrush. She made sure the next morning to stop on the way home to buy him one for her apartment too. 

* * *

These changes didn’t go unnoticed by Azriel and Mor who had frequent conversations about their roommates. One evening whilst they were out for dinner together, Azriel couldn’t keep his secret any longer.  
“Rhys is in love with Feyre.” He blurted out in the middle of their conversation. Mor had been talking about how frustrating it was that Feyre was so stubborn about her feelings.  
“Yes and Feyre’s obviously in love with him but they won’t admit it!” She’d replied, sighing as she ran her thumb over the back of Azriel’s hand, rough and calloused from many years of hard manual labour.  
“No Mor, he’s in love with her. Definitely… I know because he told me” he said softly, his deep voice as sleek as a shadow as he watched for Mor’s reaction.  
“He told you?!  _When?_ ”  
“He told me and Cassian about two weeks after he first met her…” he said sheepishly, knowing this would not go down well with his girlfriend.  
“WHAT?! You’ve known that he’s in love with her for  _over a year?_  And you failed to mention it?” She said, pulling her hand back out of his and pouting as she sat back in her seat, arms folded tightly across her chest.  
“Morrigan love, he’s my best friend, I couldn’t betray his trust like that and you know it. He’s so ruined over her Mor, he said he’d take any of her he could get, so if all she’d ever want him for is this, then he can’t say no. He thinks there not a hope in hell of her ever loving him back…”  
Mor sighed sadly, reaching out and taking Azriel’s hand again, accepting his reasons not to tell her sooner.  
“We need to do something Az…” she said quietly, and he could see the cogs beginning to turn in her head, “if she stays oblivious to her feelings and settles for someone else, neither of them will ever be happy. It would kill him…”  
“I know, but there’s no way he would tell her, and even if he did tell her, it wouldn’t matter until she admits to herself how she feels…” Azriel said, furrowing his brow as he tried to come up with some kind of plan. Suddenly Mor sat up straighter, a glint in her eyes.  
“ _Morrigan…_ ” he said, knowing that look, and knowing it usually lead to trouble.  
“Azriel my love, I have a plan… it’s not gonna be pretty, and they’re not gonna like us for it, but it could work…”  
Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair as he sat back and said “fire away my love…”

* * *

Feyre was confused as to why Mor suddenly wanted to have a party. Feyre herself was not opposed to parties, she’d had lots of wonderful nights at gatherings with her friends, but usually they were for a specific occasion, not out of the blue.  
“Come on Feyre, it’ll be so much fun! It’s been months since we had a party, and everyone’s been so busy recently, Nesta and Cassian have been planning their wedding, you and Rhys have been occupied, Amren’s been busy doing… whatever it is that Amren does. Please Feyre?”  
She sighed, a little suspicious of her roommate, but she couldn’t say no when Mor looked so excited.  
“Okay fine, but just a small get together okay?”

* * *

It was not a small get together. Their fairly small apartment was filled with people, some of whom Feyre recognised, other she’d never seen before. She’d pulled Mor aside an hour into the party and demanded to know who exactly all these people were.  
“They’re just some friends Feyre, people from work, old college friends, people from other apartments in our block… The more the merrier as they say?” She’d giggled and skipped off with a glass of wine in her hand to talk to some dark haired girl Feyre didn’t recognise. 

What really shook Feyre though was the flare of white hot jealousy that rose through her when she saw Mor introducing this dark, beautiful stranger to Rhysand…

* * *

Rhysand had only come to the party because Mor had insisted, and because he knew Feyre would be there. He’d spent so much time with her lately that every separation hurt him down to his soul, as if a part of him was missing. However he hadn’t had a chance to speak to Feyre all evening, she seemed to always be talking to someone else, and he’d been cornered by Azriel and Cassian pretty quickly.  
“Parties are so much less fun now that none of us are single” Cassian sighed, taking a sip of his drink.  
“Don’t let Nesta hear you say that or she’ll nail your balls to the wall!” Azriel chuckled as Cassian scanned around the party for his fiance, making sure she wasn’t standing right behind him.  
“I don’t mean it like  _that_ , I love Nesta and wouldn’t change any of this for the world… I just miss our old ‘hunting’ days, a party wasn’t a party until one of us got a drink thrown at us”  
“I think both of you are forgetting something…” Rhys said lightly, not looking at either of them but watching as Feyre made her way around the room, “I’m still single.”  
Cassian frowned, seeing what had captured Rhys’s gaze so thoroughly and said “You could not be you know? If you told her how you feel…”  
“No. No that would never work.” Rhysand said, his voice hinting that he wanted this subject to be over as soon as possible. 

Just as Azriel was about to open his mouth to say something else Mor skipped over to them. She leaned up and gave Azriel a quick kiss that made a stupid smile bloom across his face.   
“Hello boys,” She giggled, but frowned when she saw Rhys’s eyes were still glued to Feyre, refusing to look away, “I have someone to introduce to you. This is Callista, she just moved to the city.”   
The woman standing next to Mor was undoubtedly beautiful, long hair so dark it was almost black fell in soft waves down her back, eyes as blue as an open ocean and a figure most women would kill for. Cassian and Azriel introduced themselves politely, and then everyone turn to Rhysand, who unsurprisingly was still looking at Feyre.  
“Rhysand? Hello? Sorry, he’s a little away with the faeries” Mor chuckled and snapped her fingers in front of her cousin’s face, which made him turn towards her with a frown. “Rhys, this is Callista, she just moved into the same building as you and Az”   
Rhys looked over the woman, noting that she was very beautiful, but also noting how he didn’t care, her presence having no effect on him. Before he probably would’ve plastered on a smirk and spent the party working his magic to get this woman into his bed. He had no interest in doing that tonight, knowing there was only one woman he’d want to take home with him. However, always the gentleman, he gave her a friendly smile, holding out his hand to her and said “Hey, i’m Rhysand, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

* * *

Feyre didn’t know what was happening. She couldn’t keep her eyes off Rhysand, and not for the usual reasons. Her blood boiled inside her veins, her hands itching at the sight of Rhys smiling at this woman. That smile that she loved so much, and treasured each one she got from him. She didn’t know what was happening. She didn’t have feelings for Rhysand. She wasn’t jealousy… So why did she want to march over there and drag Rhys away from this woman and keep him all to herself? She knew the party was ruined now. No matter how much she drank or danced she couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting back to Rhys and  _her_. They spent most of the evening talking, seeming deep in a conversation that kept him laughing and smiling. However nothing could compare to the feeling of her heart practically caving in inside her chest when she saw Rhys and that woman talking to Mor and Azriel before he slid his arm around her waist, his hand pressing against the small of her back as he led her to the door of the apartment. As he left with her. 

Feyre felt her heart rip in two as she realised that she did, in fact, have feelings for Rhysand. She had feelings for him, and he was now heading home with someone else…


	5. Chapter 5

Rhysand walked Callista home. He’d had a good time at the party; after Mor had introduced them they’d started chatting and hit it off straight away. They had plenty in common, one big thing being that they both liked women. Rhys had chuckled to himself when he’d learnt this, guessing that Mor had been trying to set the two of them up.

It was nice, Rhysand found, to be able to talk to someone who didn’t know him, didn’t have any preconceived notions about who he was. She didn’t know anything about him and Feyre, and for a while he was able to forget about his unrequited love and just relax. Of course he’d been disappointed he hadn’t managed to speak to Feyre that night. He’d had dreams of going to the party and spending the whole night with her, comfortable and happy, talking like they did when they were alone in the early hours of the morning. He’d wanted to spend the night laughing and dancing with her, being close to her, where he always wanted to be. When he’d been cornered by Cassian and Azriel, and then Mor had introduced Callista, he’d kept looking for Feyre, but saw that she had no interest in him. She didn’t look his way the entire evening, drinking and talking with other people, as if she didn’t even notice he was there. So when Callista had asked if he’d walk her home, as she was still new to the city and unfamiliar with the area, he couldn’t say no. 

He’d walked her to her door, made sure she was inside safe and then headed up to his own apartment, knowing Az would be out for the night. He didn’t bother staying up any longer, wanting the night to be over, desperate to see Feyre again the next day as they’d planned. He struggled to fall asleep that night, his bed feeling empty with only him in it, but when he dreamed, all he could see was Feyre in his arms, the two of them dancing beneath the stars.

* * *

Feyre disappeared into her room immediately after Rhys left. She couldn’t breathe properly against the deep, painful ache in her chest. She’d shut the door and shut out the party beyond, wanting to be alone as she tried to process what she was feeling.  
 _Rhysand…_  he consumed her every thought, even the smell of him lingering in her room was enough to drive her mad. Her mind raced through memories of their months together, the way the sunlight would look against his skin in the morning, the slight quirk of the corner of his mouth when he found something she’d said amusing, the sound of his laugh echoing through her room when the rest of the world was fast asleep. She  _loved_  him… oh god did she love him. The realisation was so intense it nearly floored her. It would have been a wonderful feeling, if only she hadn’t just seen the man she loved disappearing with another woman. She had been so blind to her feelings, convinced there was nothing growing deep inside her chest every time she was with him. She bit her lip, refusing to let any tears fall as she changed out of her dress and into pyjamas, not wearing one of Rhys’s shirts to bed for the first time in months as she crawled under the covers and tried not to think about what he would be doing in that moment. Tried not to think of  _her_  Rhysand with someone else.

* * *

Feyre didn’t show up the next day. They were supposed to meet at Rhys’s place in the afternoon, both of them expecting not to want to get up early after the party the night before. But she never showed. Rhys waited, glancing down at his watch every few minutes as he walked around the kitchen, trying to find things to busy his hands with. He pulled out mugs and cups and put them back into the cupboard again, opening the fridge and checking its contents before closing it with a sigh.   
10 minutes late. Then half an hour. Then an hour. Finally, when an hour and a half had passed, Rhys couldn’t wait any longer. He picked his phone up from the coffee table and clicked on Feyre’s number, the top of his list of favourite contacts.

Feyre was sat in her bedroom alone when the phone call came, and it took all her self control not to pick up the phone as soon as it started to ring. She managed to leave it for a few moments, steadying herself before she picked up the phone and lightly said “Hello?”  
“ _Feyre…”_ Rhysand breathed, relieved that she was answering the call and not in danger somewhere, “is everything okay?”  
“Everything’s fine, what’s the matter?”  
“Well I thought we were supposed to be meeting today?” He said, sitting on the sofa and running a hand through his hair, trying to hide is disappointment that she wasn’t there.  
“I know we were, I just assumed you wouldn’t want me  _interrupting_.” She said, her voice sounding calm and cold.  
Rhys was confused as he asked “Interrupting…?”  
“Yes, you and that girl you took home last night.” Feyre said, trying to keep her voice steady even though the memory of Rhys’s hand against Callista’s back haunted her. Rhys had just been about to set her straight when she continued, forcing herself to say the things she’d planned earlier, convinced it was the only way to guard her heart against more pain. “You know Rhysand, I’ve been thinking maybe this  _thing_  between us has run its course. I think it’s time we just stopped it, you know? You found someone else without a word to me but I thought I’d at least give you the courtesy of letting you know that I want to move on.”

It was like an arrow through Rhys’s heart. Feyre thought he’d slept with Callista and had moved on from her. She had to be so blind to his love for her if she could even imagine him wanting someone other than her. She was through with him…  
The walls went up. The mask went on again. Rhys squared his shoulders, set his jaw and turned back on that cool, calm, unphased act he presented to most of the world, but never to her before this.  
“Well Feyre darling, if that’s what you want then fine. I mean, we never said we were exclusive did we? This was just a bit of fun, wasn’t it? Whatever you want.” He said, his voice taking on the icy edge that it often carried when he was trying his hardest not to break apart at the seams.   
Feyre felt tears stinging her eyes, burning as she blinked them away and quietly said “Good, i’m glad we’re in agreement…” her hands shaking as she tried to hold back a sob that threatened to rip through her.  
Rhys had his head in his hands as he quietly said “Well… I guess i’ll see you around then.” building that wall back up around his heart, vowing to never let the mask slip again.   
“Goodbye Rhysand…” Feyre said, keeping her voice strong until she could hang up the call and finally let herself collapse, sobs rippling through her as she curled up on her bed and let the emotions take over her body. Little did she know, Rhysand was also crying quiet, cold tears.

* * *

They didn’t speak for a month.

It was difficult to actually avoid each other because their social circles overlapped so much, but Nesta and Cassian’s upcoming wedding provided enough jobs to keep both of them busy and out of each other’s way. Cassian and Azriel had attempted to get an answer out of Rhysand about what had happened, just as Mor had tried again and again to get Feyre to open up. They both had the same answer for their friends. It was over. Simple. Nothing else anyone needed to know. 

Feyre cried herself to sleep every night for the first week. She’d never been in love before, not really. What she’d had with Tamlin wasn’t real love, it was an infatuation that had turned sinister. But her body and soul missed Rhysand so much it became a lonely, dull ache in her chest. She missed him so much she nearly called him multiple times a day and told him everything, never mind what might happen as a result. But she stayed strong, busying herself with her sister’s wedding preparations. As Nesta’s Maid of Honour she was involved in everything from the dress to the cake and table plans. She was glad of the distraction, something to keep her mind from wandering to the memories of a man she knew deep down she had always loved. 

By the time the day of Nesta and Cassian’s wedding rolled around, Feyre had closed herself off from everyone. Mor hated what had happened to her friend, feeling painfuly responsible. She’d only introduced Rhys to Callista in the hopes that seeing Rhys with another woman would kick Feyre into finally accepting her feelings. What she hadn’t thought would happen was that they would both still refuse to admit to the other how they felt and completely withdraw back into themselves, away from each other. She tried her hardest to cheer up her friend, but knew that her efforts were futile. Nothing and no-one had managed to put a genuine smile on Feyre’s face for a long time.   
On the day of the wedding, the girls were all in one hotel suite, a mess of clothes, jewellery and makeup scattered around them. Elain was working on Nesta’s hair, her nimble fingers weaving an intricate pattern through the soft locks as she chatted merrily. Nesta looked so beautiful, Feyre noted as she watched her two older sisters with fondness. As Elain was finishing the style, Mor walking quietly on Feyre’s hair from behind her, Nesta was going over the details for the ceremony again, making sure everyone knew their place.   
“So Elain and Lucien will be first down the aisle, then Mor and Azriel. Feyre, you and Rhysand are next before me okay?” She said, applying a final coat of mascara. Feyre’s head flew up at the mention of his name, and she looked over her shoulder at Mor with a confused expression before turning her gaze back to her sister.  
“I… I’m walking down the aisle with  _Rhysand_?” She said quietly, surprised she could even get his name past her lips.  
“Of course you are Feyre, you’re my Maid of Honour and he’s Cassian’s Best Man. That’s how it  _has_  to be” Nesta said, fixing her sister a look that indicated this wasn’t something that was open for discussion. Feyre swallowed hard, dread rising through her at the prospect of being so close to Rhysand again. She hadn’t even been in the same room as him since the party… But it was her sister’s big day, and as always Feyre would put their happiness first, telling herself that she would be fine, it would be over quickly and then she could go back to ignoring him again, for her own good. 

* * *

Rhysand stood at the bottom of the stairs, along with Azriel and Lucien, the large doors to their right muffling the sound of the guests gathered inside. He’d become cold and closed off this past month, not letting anyone see how deeply ruined he was by what had happened between Feyre and himself. He glanced to the side and saw that Azriel was watching him, as if he was waiting for him to fall apart any second. Before he could say anything to Azriel to stop him looking at him as if he was some delicate thing that needed to be coddled, Lucien’s face lit up with delight as Elain made her way down the stairs, the floral shaped pins in her hair catching the light like tiny flecks of stardust. She stepped into Lucien’s arms quickly and he hugged her close, whispering something quietly into her hair that no one else could hear, but whatever it was made her smile grow ever brighter. They joined hands and walked to the doors as sweet music filled the air, and began to walk down the aisle between the guests gathered and towards Cassian. Azriel continued to watch Rhysand, noting the way his eyes soften at the sight of Feyre’s delicate sister so in love, his face morphing into that of someone grieving a deep loss. He wanted to help his friend, take him away from this place so he could comfort him, however, when Morrigan stepped around the corner and began to walk down the stairs, he was physically unable to keep his eyes from her. She looked like sunlight made flesh, her golden hair swept to one side, looking bright and beautiful against the deep purple of her dress. Her eyes watched him with such adoration as he stepped forward and took her hand, placing a single kiss to it before he took her arm and led her towards the doors. Before they made their way down the aisle, Azriel glanced over his shoulder at Rhysand, watching his face as Feyre emerged and began to approach him… and he could pin-point the exact moment Rhys decided to tell Feyre he was in love with her.


	6. Chapter 6

She was a vision. Rhysand felt as if his heart had finally started again after laying dormant in his chest for weeks when he saw Feyre at the top of the stairs. She looked… exquisite. Her long, deep purple dress hugged every curve of her body, a thin line of diamonds accentuating her waist as the skirt draped over her legs, pooling at her feet. His eyes travelled the length of her body, every inch of her seeming so unfamiliar after their separation. She reached the bottom of the stairs as his gaze finally reached her face, and when his eyes connected with hers, he decided he would tell her. Tonight. Forsaking all consequences, he would lay his soul bare to her, and he would deal with whatever happened after that. He just knew there was no way he could go on living in a world where he hadn’t taken that chance. And maybe there was a chance, because her eyes were soft and filled to the brim with emotion as she looked at him. He stepped forwards, wanting to touch her and be sure that she was real, but his mouth opened and no words came out, just a choked off sigh. He tried to speak again, but Feyre stepped close to him and lay a hand against his cheek, setting his heart racing.  
“I missed you too…” she sighed, knowing exactly what he’d been trying to tell her. Rhys’s face crumpled with relief that she didn’t push him away, and he rested his hand on her waist.  
“Feyre… I-” he began, but she ran her thumb over his lips softly to silence him.  
“Shhh Rhysand, it’s okay… we’ll have plenty of time to talk later okay?” She said softly, and as he nodded she looped her arm through his, her hand resting on his bicep as they walked towards the large doors in silence.

They walked down the aisle, close together, both of them holding their breath the entire time. Feyre had known from the moment she’d seen Rhysand at the bottom of the stairs that her heart would always belong to him, and that she needed to tell him. Her heart had leaped with relief at the look on Rhys’s face when he saw her again, and she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there was something else beneath that look, something deeper than they’d ever had. Her hand gripped his arm tightly as they walked past family and friends, Feyre’s eyes meeting Mor’s, and she couldn’t help but think her best friend was looking at her as if this was  _her_  wedding, not her sisters. Rhys’s presence at her side was reassuring, and she hadn’t realised just how much she had missed him being close to her. Just the feeling of his body next to hers, the heat of him bleeding through his jacket and silk of her dress to warm her skin, like the first touch of sunlight after a long winter. When they finally reached the end of the aisle, Rhys looked down at her with a soft smile on his face, and she couldn’t help but return it, a warm smile of her own lighting up her face for the first time in weeks. She slowly, reluctantly removed her arm from it’s place around his and stepped away from him, moving to stand beside Mor as Rhysand took his place next to Cassian. 

A hush fell through the crowd as Nesta began to walk down the aisle. She had no-one giving her away. Even though Rhys, Cassian and Lucien had all offered in place of her deceased Father, she had insisted that she didn’t need anyone with her. She was her own woman, and the notion of her being anyone’s property to ‘give away’ was ridiculous to her. All eyes in the room turned to watch her as she glided down the aisle, looking like strength and beauty defined. Some people turned back to look at Cassian, the groom looking so unbelievably happy and in love, his eyes warm and soft as they always were around Nesta, breaking his usually rugged, hard exterior. What no one seemed to notice was that the Best Man at Cassian’s side and the Maid of Honour had eyes only for each other. 

* * *

They made it through the ceremony, Feyre and Elain both shedding tears at the sight of their sister so happy, her usually cold expression softened by love for the man before her who had pulled her from so much darkness, challenging her in ways no one had dared before. When they were officially married, the crowd cheering and clapping as Cassian dipped Nesta low and kissed her with a huge grin on his face, Rhysand had wanted nothing more than to grab Feyre and tell her right then and there. Unfortunately, weddings are busy days with tight schedules, so they were all quickly ushered out of the hall, their hair littered with confetti from the guests as they emerged through the doors, and were soon whisked away to have photos taken.

Mor gave Feyre a nudge as they were walking to the front of the grand hotel where the wedding was taking place to have photos taken on the steps.  
“Are you alright? You’ve seemed in a trance all day…” Mor asked, quietly, taking Feyre’s hand and giving it a slight squeeze, as if trying to bring her back to reality. Feyre’s eyes were fixed on Rhysand, he was walking with Azriel and Lucien, the three of them talking quietly. Feyre turned to look at her best friend, concern evident in Mor’s eyes as she bit her lip and swallowed hard.  
“Mor I… I’ve made a terrible mistake” she said quietly, and Mor’s grip only tightened on her hand slightly, encouraging to Feyre to continue. “I… Mor I love him. I’m in love with Rhysand.”  
Saying the words out loud only made it more real, tears threatening to slide from her eyes as she glanced over at him and saw his beautiful face moving animatedly in conversation with Azriel, a smile so bright it could rival the sun on his face.   
“Oh Feyre… that’s not a terrible mistake sweetie, it’s  _wonderful_!” Mor said, her smile only growing when she saw that Rhysand was glancing over at Feyre when she wasn’t looking, his love so clear on his face you’d have to be blind, or Feyre, not to see it. She was just about to continue, to tell Feyre as subtly as she could that she should tell him when the photographer called “Okay can we have the Best Man and the Maid of Honour next please?”

* * *

Rhysand and Feyre stood close together on the steps in front of the large hotel building, Rhys’s arm a solid weight around her waist, his hand resting on her hip as she clutched her bouquet tightly. They smiled at the camera, both of their hearts racing uncontrollably at being so close together for so long.   
“Just a little closer, please?” The photographer asked, looking up over his camera at them and waving his hands around. Feyre sucked in a breath as Rhys’s hand tightened on her hip, tucking her in closer to his side, until there was no space between them. “Beautiful, just perfect, stay just like that” the photographer gushed, snapping photo after photo as the they stood in a heavy silence, smiles aching their cheeks. When they were finally allowed to go, Rhys kept his hand on Feyre’s hip for a few seconds longer than necessary, letting his fingers glide over the back of her dress as he removed it, sending shivers through Feyre’s whole body. She smiled up at him quickly before rushing off, talking to Elain and Nesta as Rhys looked on with a heavy heart, knowing soon she would probably not even want to be in the same room with him again. 

* * *

They only made it through dinner because they were at opposite ends of the table. Only a few meters separated them but to Feyre it still felt as if he was an ocean away from her. The food was served, speeches made, tears shed, and plenty of alcohol drunk. Then the dancing began. Nesta and Cassian had taken to the floor first, holding each other close, Cassian’s hands holding her waist firmly as they moved as one. Guests gradually began to join them, couples and friends and individuals until the floor was full of people dancing happily.   
  


Feyre stood at the edge of the dance-floor, a glass of champagne in her hand as she watched Mor and Azriel sweeping a perfect waltz across the floor, their feet nimble and gliding easily, Mor’s head tipped back in a glorious laugh, Azriel looking at her as if he held the most precious object in the entire universe in his arms.   
“You know, it’s traditional for the Best Man and Maid of Honour to dance at a wedding…” she heard a low, familiar voice say from behind her, his breath tickling her shoulder. She turned and found Rhysand standing close behind her, a gentle smile on his face, eyes a little nervous. Feyre tilted her head slightly, as if she was puzzling over a question and then smiled softly, placing a hand on his arm.  
“Well, we wouldn’t want to go against tradition would we?” She said quietly, and before she could change her mind, she took his hand in hers and led him onto the dance floor.   
  
Just as Feyre’s arms slid up and around Rhys’s neck, the music changed to a familiar, slow song. Feyre blushed, not intending this to be a romantic slow dance, but Rhys just moved his hands to her waist confidently and pulled her close to him. They started to move slowly, the crowd around them fading away until all Feyre could see was Rhysand, her hand softly stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. His eyes fluttered closed, his long dark lashes casting tiny shadows against his cheeks. His thumbs were softly stroking her waist, back and forth over the soft material of her dress until she felt as if they were against her skin. He felt as if he was drunk on her, the sound of her breathing, the heat of her skin, the way the candlelight of the room illuminated her skin until it looked as if she was glowing from within. 

“Feyre i’m sorry-”  
“Rhys i didn’t mean any of it-”  
They both started talking at once. Rhys chuckled, smiling softly as he brought a hand up to brush a few strands of her hair from her face.  
“You first Feyre darling…” he said gently, the two of them moving less and less until they were just standing holding each other. Feyre looked up into his eyes, and her breath came out in a single, shaking sigh before the words started pouring out of her.  
“I’m so  _so_  sorry Rhys… I didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t mean what I said. I just… I saw you with Callista and it made me jealous. And I didn’t know why. It scared me so much Rhys, and I just thought it would be easier if things stopped, I thought it would save me from getting hurt like everyone said I would. But it didn’t, it just made me hurt more. Because I missed you so  _so_  much Rhysand… I missed you so much I felt like I was going insane. And i’m sorry. Of course it’s completely your choice who you’re with, we never said anything about being exclusive and I had no right to get upset… So if you wanted to go back to how things were between us, I would be happy with that. But if you want to keep seeing Callista, then I understand that too… It’s your choice.”  
“I didn’t sleep with her.” Rhys said quietly, and Feyre’s eyes looked up at him full of confusion.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I didn’t sleep with Callista. Feyre… I-” But before he could continue, the music changed, becoming more upbeat and loud, drowning out his words. Feyre looked around them in annoyance, as if only just remembering where they were. She untangled her arms from his neck and took his hand, leading him out of the crowd as she said “Let’s go somewhere quieter…”

* * *

They found a balcony overlooking the grounds of the hotel, looking over the sweeping gardens that were lit up in the twilight, the trees full of lights that twinkled as they swayed in the breeze. Feyre moved to stand by the railing at the edge, shivering slightly in the cold evening air. Rhys stepped out after her, and instantly took off his jacket, placing it gently around her shoulders without a word. Feyre looked up at him with a grateful smile, pulling the jacket around herself as if she could absorb Rhys’s very being through it.  
Rhys moved to stand in front of her, taking her hand gently in his and stroking his thumb over the back of it. 

“I didn’t sleep with Callista.” He began again, his gaze looking over Feyre’s shoulder, focusing on the sun setting behind the horizon. “Mor introduced us and we got along, sure, but let’s just say, you’re a little more her type than I am…” and Feyre’s eyes widened with understanding.   
“Oh…” She said softly, and Rhys chuckled at her reaction.  
“Yes ‘ _Oh_ ’” he laughed, but then his voice grew serious again as he said “But even if she had wanted me, I wouldn’t have slept with her. I… I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. I only want you.”  
Feyre looked shocked and confused, and was about to ask Rhys what he meant when he shook his head softly and said “Just… just let me finish okay? I need to say this now before I let myself back down.”   
Feyre just nodded, and gently lowered Rhys’s chin with her fingers so he was looking at her.   
“I’m listening, Rhys…” She said quietly with a reassuring smile. His hands tightened their grip on hers and he softly brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek, his heart leaping at the way she leaned into his touch.  
“I don’t want anyone else Feyre, and I haven’t for a long time. And I don’t just mean in the physical sense. Because the truth is Feyre…” His voice shaking with nerves and his eyes shining with the threat of tears, “The truth is, I’m in love with you. I am so terribly deeply in love with you Feyre, and I have been ever since the moment we met. I have been completely yours since you said my name for the first time and stole my heart. And I know… I know it’s too much to ask for you to want me back the same way, to feel the same too, but I couldn’t spend the rest of my life knowing i’d never been completely honest with you. And I know it’s likely you won’t want anything to do with me after this, never mind going back to how we were, but you must know that I am completely yours. And I will be whatever you need from me. Whatever you ask me to do, I’ll do it, even if that’s to walk away from you and never look back…”  
Rhysand couldn’t stop the tears from drifting down his cheeks, wanting to sag with relief that he’d finally told her, but he was so terrified of her response that all he could do was look down at his feet, angry that he’d let himself cry in front of her.

Feyre’s heart broke for him as she watched him pour his heart out to her. She would have been elated, the happiest she’d ever been to hear that he loved her too…  _Rhysand loved her…_  but she couldn’t feel happy when Rhys looked so devastated in front of her, every inch of his body radiating fear and heartbreak. She held back her tears as she once again moved to lift Rhys’s face up to look at her, but he resisted and turned to the side, refusing to meet her gaze.   
“Rhysand…” She said softly, her hand sliding up to cup his cheek, “Rhysand…” She begged when he refused to look at her still. Her lip quivered as she held back tears, her hand squeezing his tightly as she whispered “Rhys… _I love you too_.” 

* * *

Rhys was dreaming. He  _had_  to be dreaming, because only in his wildest dreams could he ever imagine Feyre saying those words to him. He looked up at her, her eyes brimming with tears as she smiled beautifully at him.   
“Say that again.” He asked breathlessly, face pale with disbelief. Feyre chuckled, rising up on her tip toes and pressing her lips softly to his cheek. The tenderness of the touch almost ruined him completely, his heart fluttering like a bird finally set free inside his chest. She leaned close to his ear, her hands holding onto his shoulders to steady herself.  
“I am in love with you Rhysand. I am deeply,  _desperately_ , heartbreakingly in love with you…” She whispered and she heard Rhys let out a shaking, relieved sob.   
“You love me…” He whispered, it sounding almost a question, as if he still refused to believe it. Feyre pulled back, placing a hand on either side of his face and resting her forehead against his gently.  
“I love you. I love you so much…”  
Neither of them could stop themselves from crying any longer, Rhys’s arms wrapping around Feyre’s waist tightly as he pulled her close against him. They stood there, tucked close together for a while, just basking in this moment that they knew they would remember for years to come. 

Finally, Rhys leaned down and connected his lips to hers, and it felt like his whole life had been leading up to that moment. One of his hands moved up to cradle the back of her head as she leaned herself against him, her arms around his neck as they had been whilst they were dancing. They stood kissing softly, pressed close together until they heard a loud  _BOOM_. Feyre pulled away, shock on her face as she looked to the sky that morphed into pure joy as she saw the fireworks starting to explode high above them. She watched as the lights lit up the night, casting her face in a beautiful, colourful light. Rhys watched her, awe on his face at the fact that this beautiful, wonderful woman loved him back. She turned back to him, smiling broadly and when she saw the look on his face, she tilted her head to one side.   
“What is it Rhys…?” She asked softly, running a hand through his hair as another firework exploded, bathing them both in a glorious, multicoloured light. Rhysand grinned, stroking his thumb across her cheek gently.   
“It looks like your freckles are glowing…” he said with a chuckle, before leaning in and kissing her again with all the love in the world.


End file.
